Refugee | zilphia's Blog

This morning I heard the old song 'you don't  have to live like a refugee' by Tom Petty.

That song always makes me think of a winter night in Denver about 1978.

I had been married to my husband Shane for 6 years and we had a daughter that was 3 years old.  Shane was 27 and I was about 25.

People always said Shane looked like Mick Jagger..and he  had the most amazing red brown curls.  He was cocaine skinny and looked like a faun, a magick boy. I on the other hand was short and a little pudgy, from left over baby weight on tummy.  I was very into kinder and kitchen, and Shane got some kind of male menopause thing going on.

He stared managing a record store, and all the little girls  hung out with him.  He got a little girlfriend and he didn't want me anymore.

I moved our and shared a house with a girl that I had known for quite some time, but was not very close to.  There was one other roommate, and she was nice, but kind of spacey, ad we were pleasant to each other but not friends.  After a couple of months the girl I knew moved out and things the other girl and I had a couple of arguments.  This girl was dating and soon to be engaged to a man I had been friends with since I was 17.  One night he was at the apartment when my roommate got mad at me.  She was yelling and screaming because she couldn't find some shoes and I didn't take them either, but she was throwing a fit anyway.  Her boyfriend came up to me and said "you are my sister, and I am neutral in this.'  And he gave me a little kiss, on the cheek.

Oh God.  That girl came down like a banshee.  Why'd you have to kiss her?  Why did you  have to kiss her?  The end result was that I left that apartment that night in a blizzard, it was me, my friend Kathy-Oh and Myke carrying my daughter wrapped up in a blanket thru the snow.  We were laughing hysterically and singing Refugee.  When ever I hear that song, it transports me back to that cold night, walking to Kathy-ohs apartment, with good friends on a freezing cold but magick night. 

Now Mykes been dead a year, and Kathy-Oh had a fight with my ex and I haven't heard from  her since.  I miss my friends and I miss my youth, but by God we had some times, and all these times are keyed to songs and when I hear these songs I remember.